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X: Ok agent Wilson, I assume you’ve been fully briefed on this mission. All that’s left is to walk you through your equipment. Let’s start with your survival kit.
W: Survival kit my ass! I don’t need that nonsense.
X:Well you’re only half wrong there Wilson.
Gonna need it waaay up there.
20 years is a long time to have that up there…
In prison they call that a suitcase
I’ll take one in the ass if they can make it feel good but there ain’t no way I’m taking it in the ass for america 😌
thats not a lot of storage space…strech em out a bit more and they they may can fit a radio set and a powerbank too
A true patriot develops megacolon and then deals with the chronic constipation, so they can hide even a folable pistol and ammunition!
For a 1960s powerbank and radio you’re gonna need a real elastic anus.
(Brand new sentence right there)
elastic anus
Band name!!
The RS-59 is modular so with multiple trips it probably could be done
https://www.cryptomuseum.com/spy/rs59/
tho that encoder gona be probably making some agents cry a bit
Does it come with CIA branded lube?
I mean, unironically this, among other projects, did probably necessitate that the military develop or at least test and commission different personal lubes.
Wish I got paid to test lube and shove things up my butt for the CIA!
A true patriot doesn’t need lube
Shoving a palm sized capsule up my ass for the motherland 🫡🇺🇸
They probably conducted a study to find maximum tolerable size.
And then went 10% larger, because true patriots can take it all.
That’s what all the training is for.
No pain no gain.
ain’t training if it ain’t stretching
I’m sure it would be bigger than that…
Or just for fun!
You can’t just post something like this without including a purchase link!
If you purchase the CIA, it comes included as a freebie
Sometimes I see these and I wonder if someone there is just having a laugh.
haha they’ll totally believe we gave people butt knives
is that plastic body safe?
1960s-80s, so no.
Does it not need a flared base?
Without a base, without a trace
I’m assuming you’d want it to stay hidden even when getting a cavity search. Double rounded tip means it’s only a matter of time before it will leave on its own.
Hopefully…
xkcd#37 moment
This fucking awesome ass-lock pick really came in handy!
Didn’t know I was training to be a CIA agent 🤔
We’re going to need a lot of firepower. send in Secewet Agent Owo
Now I’m imagining an e girl furry fetish onlyfans content creator coming out and blasting lasers out her but. So thanks for that.
