Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, kill them
Join the army,
see the world, meet interesting people, kill themclean toilets for 4 years.
Soooooo, at what day do you get your own grenades?
Sooner than you’d think.
And they’ll remove the shipping pin for you before handing it over.
I only need one
That reply alone should’ve been the end of the conversation 😭
I actually wanted to join the military fresh out of high school but I was informed by my recruiter that they don’t take autistic people
It’s a loss to their logistics supply corps.
Well that’s a damn lie but hey, bullets dodged
No lies
The recruiter lied. We believe you. But they lied to you.
i’m certain the military has its share of undiagnosed autists, tho
Shit tons. Mostly in the nerdier jobs.
There are medical waivers that are almost always granted if you’re willing and able to ask in the first place.
Wish I knew that back then. Can’t sign up for the military now. Trans, and now I have a medical history of suicidal ideation.
I hate it break this to you but joining the military wouldn’t have helped you not want to kill yourself.
Yeah, but the Veteran’s Benefits would be nice. Service guarantees citizenship ya know
Same, but my out was a sleep disorder that I grew out of about 5 years prior, before I finished middle school.
So you have a heartbeat? Please meet me outside
incels and military have a lot in common!
Incels (like actual incels, not just dudes that hate women having rights) are actually incredibly picky and shallow, that’s one of their problems.
You don’t know what Incel means, do you?
You can’t be picky and shallow while also complaining you’re Involuntary celibate.
That’s like saying someone who’s unemployed complaining they can’t find a job because they haven’t applied to any.
I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not, but that’s part of the problem. They complain a lot but refuse to either fix their own baggage that makes them unattractive or refuse to lower their own standards… It’s EXACTLY like someone complaining about not finding a job, while not applying.
Yep.
Here’s Eliot Rogers, famous incel mass murderer:
The joke about incels is that they’ll blow up your phone with red flags, then freak out if they get anywhere near first base.
in Russia, they agitate during their studies, promising a diploma) I can already see how such a person who has received a diploma in this way will work well in education.
I assume everyone has heard the Arlo Guthrie thanksgiving song. “I wanna kill, kill, kill, kill!” “You’re our boy.”
I hated the recruitment texts and calls. The high school and university apparently just give your information to recruiters.
Wait, this a real thing? That’s so… American I guess.
Yep. It’s actually the whole reason we have phy ed.
Basically if you get federal funds, you have to do what the federal says.
I see, I always assumed it was either people giving their info themselves or others did to prank you. I guess it makes sense for a country who loves perpetual war.
We have to register for the draft, they have all our info then anyway when we turn 18. When I was a kid Gillette sent you a free razor and Old Spice sent you some deodorant.
Don’t many countries have compulsory service at that age anyway (with educational deferments, which we basically have as well, college tuition differences notwithstanding).
The “country” doesn’t, the pedo class does.
Well… As the “country” screaming the loudest about democracy. It’s hard to not conflate the two. But seeing the terrible voting system over there, I guess that wouldn’t be fair.
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I meant to say ‘not conflate’
So being a fat kid didn’t just get me out of dodgeball but also military recruiting? Sweet
one of them tried to corner me into agreeing to let him come pick me up and talk in person. probably because he felt it would make me more compliant if alone with him. like a child predator.
maybe one of the best things to say in these cases is “i don’t suck dick, i bite”
like it gets a certain point across just fine. namely that if they try to intimidate you that’s not gonna go good for them.
Yeah, but if you go to a good high school they send recruiters who may tell you to commission instead of only to enlist
And no they don’t take “ineligible” for an answer. I didn’t want to die for oil, but even if I did they wouldn’t let me, but they also wouldn’t leave me alone.
I hear one can take the ASFAB, book the follow-up interviews, etc., but drop the mic on the pre-boot questionnaire that tries to suss out your “conscientious objector” leanings and never have to worry about another spam call/email (barring a draft). Or, so I hear. It’s been decades, now. 😜🤌🏼
Can’t you just block the number? Or do they use a lot of different numbers.
I’ve heard of kids who have had them follow them home from school or even stop them in the middle of the school hallway.
I never had to deal with them, but they apparently can just walk into school in the middle of the day.
People really don’t understand just how dystopian the US is and how much of it we take for granted because we grew up in a place where it’s normal for elementary students to pledge their undying loyalty to a flag every morning before class starts.
did you take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery? One day “off” of classes in exchange for taking the military test. In exchange, you give the military your contact information yourself.
i did not take the test. i got way fewer recruitment letters and calls than my friends.
Nope I did not take it nor was I involved in anything like ROTC either.
Calls started being sent to our landline and my parents cellphones which were listed with the high school. After going to university is when they began coming to my cell phone.
It would be really funny if they did it based on grades
You mean high grade is more recruiters… right?
Why would people with job prospects join the army?
I got a 99 on the asvab (everyone at our school took it) and was getting recruiting calls all the way through my PhD program.
My condolences
“No senpaiii, don’t become a doctor we really need bullet sponge infantrymen 👉👈🥺”
family tradition is one. You can potentially start as an officer is another. They tried to recruit me to start as a captain given my prior vocational training.
I did not know that. Interesting, I guess my own feelings on it didn’t let me consider that
“so i understand you take men in your military. did you have to be born that way?” got them to stop calling me altogether back during DADT.
I told them I was a conscientious objector in 2001 and never heard from any of them ever again.
when “I am not going to join, please stop calling” doesn’t work, you have to know the actual magic words.
unfortunately I fear that gets you put on a list you dont want to be on
We’re already on all the lists.
Oldest child was contacted via text by a recruiter. We told them to waste their time. Say “yes, I’ll talk to you about it if you treat ME to a meal at [local restaurant].” (emphasis mine)
The recruiter ghosted them after that.
We had an army recruiter come talk to our history class in high school (this was in the '80s). After the guy’s talk he said “any questions”?" My friend Rob said “yeah, I have a question: does napalm still stick to kids?”
Ironically that’s a good recruiter. Anything that looks like fraternizing with potential recruits outside official activities is a huge no no.
i wouldn’t go to said meal. like, having an awkward 1.5 hours with somebody that you don’t like? do you know how stressful that is? have you ever been stuck on a bad date?
Buy me dinner before you fuck me.
Our bestest ally and only democracy in the Middle East needs wall lickers to usher in their bizarre delusions.
Want to know more?
I like Wall Lickers, I’m gonna have to remember that one
I wonder what the response would be if you said something like: I’m already in the Navy.
“Fuck… I’m sorry. I’m so… so so sorry.”
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“More like the Gay-vy, amirite? But seriously, just come in and talk. I need at least three other people to fill out a form or they send me to the front.”
One of my favorite Marx brothers one-liners was always, “Join the Army! See the Navy.”
spoiler
You can also write it, “Join the Army! Sea the Navy,” if ya wanna be real schmucky.
The bar has been low for at least 30 years. Marine recruiter wouldn’t leave me alone even after I started hitting on him.
The bar has been low for at least 30 years.
It was comically easy to get enlisted during Korea if you were under 18. You could just walk up to the office and lie. They’d take you.
If you’d have joined then you’d realize your mistake. They just assumed you already had the same sense of humor somehow.
It was during DADT and I wasn’t joking. Though since then I have met more gay marines than any other branch (I guess if you want to prove your manliness to the world…).
Yeah. The humor in the military back then and now is best described as “It’s not gay if you say no homo!” And yet somehow also very homophobic. (Less so now than when I was in the army) It wouldn’t be hard at all to find a private flirting as a joke.
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“Have you considered applying for ICE?”
“Sure! How big is the ICE machine? Oh, you mean that ICE?”
Can I drive a Zamboni? Or or … do I get free icees?
Do military recruiters actually just cold call (well, text) you like that in the US?
Yes, and of course they’re allowed to lie to children as well
The Army came to my highschool my senior year and put on an exhibition. They had Humvees and APCs and a massive wall of speakers that would make a passerby deaf at 40 yards. You were able to get out of class if you went to the event and listened to their pitch. I was one of like 4 kids who didn’t go. Parents weren’t told about this in advance, and there were recruiters there with pens waiting.
TBF, my school did have JROTC program but still… I think thats what set off my long history of being anti-that.That’s crazy but not really surprising to me anymore for the States I guess. I think I’ve only ever seen an army recruiter once in my life and it was a booth at a convention semi recently
From the UK and I’ve ever seen one when actively went to the recruitment office, before I wised up and noped out of that idea.
Yeah, I got a call when I was sixteen or so several years ago. They strung me along for quite a while just acting like they knew me. I was trying to figure out how I knew them and finally they said they were a recruiter and I told them I wasn’t interested. I wish I told him to fuck off, but that’s not the kind of kind I was.
They even come to your highschool class during lesson time to talk with everyone about why military is awesome and you should totally join.
There was also a few month duration each year where army members would setup a table in your school cafetaria and give snacks for talking about military or taking surveys etc.
Fun fact: the United States hasn’t signed the international agreement banning child soldiers because the military allows 17-year-olds to enlist (although they don’t actually start their service until they’re 18).
I turned 18 in basic training. You can ship to basic while you’re 17. And then go to a unit. You are not deployable to a contingency zone (the widest definition of “place you could be injured by enemy fire”) until you’re 18.
Later on we got a private who actually made it all the way to the unit and had to wait until his 18th birthday to join us on deployment.
That’s actually fucking absurd wow. I was in the Canadian Air Cadets as a kid and even then I didn’t see that level of recruiting. Like even when doing Cadet basic training on an actual air base, it was always just learning drill, shooting, and about how planes worked. I’ve never in my life been asked or had it suggested to me that I join the military
Yes. Before cell phones were common they called my parents land line asking for me.
Also like any ‘sales’ job metrics matter, so they’ll take a meeting with kids like this even if it doesn’t convert to a recruit in the end.
