I want one to make the normal sound, but whenever you put it in park it moves to the Party Rock Anthem. Only the first little bit until they yell “Party Rock!” And then gets quiet.

Since there’s a long intro, it’s at about 1:38 the song starts, ignore the drums.

“Hey, man, I didn’t see anything, and I got about 20 minutes left on this shit. Somebody else will probably find this dude and call somebody before I do. Either way, none of my business.”

Them and millipedes are allowed if AND ONLY IF they stay either out of sight or up in the corners. If they crawl across my bare foot they’re done.

I went away for two weeks once, and afterwards went to the unfinished portion of my basement at the time to find the aftermath of an absolute warzone. Some yellowjackets (I think) had burrowed their nest through the wall, and there was an epic battle between them and the cave crickets (of which there were WAY more than I had thought). There were dismembered corpses absolutely covering the floors. And from what I could tell, you know who seemed to be the victor?

The millipedes. There was ONE millipede body amongs the masses of cave crickets and yellowjackets. And each of the others weren’t eaten, just ripped in half.

For the next year, we didn’t hear or see a single cave cricket, and that entire nest of yellowjackets was just… gone. But the millipedes… they flourished.

My experience with people who are really into working out is that they want everyone to be into working out, and want to help you get there. They’re nerds for lifting. They’re excited to get you excited.

Anyone who shit-talks you for not already being great at it is a fucking poser and you should tell them that.

I was living in military housing, which were duplexes, and one guy was concerned about the lesbian couple that moved in next to them, asking how he would explain to his young children if they heard sex noises through the wall. I asked him how he would explain straight sex noises to them. He stopped voicing his concerns to me.

It’s because in every other circumstance, there aren’t people saying “good” or that’s how it should be. The “No one should get stabbed in prison” is almost exclusively in response to someone celebrating it happening to a particularly shitty person.

Look, if this guy died painfully, I wouldn’t feel bad for him, but I would still be upset that our prison systems allow for something like that. If a fire department constantly failed to respond to fires, and it turned out one house that burned down and killed the occupant ended up with evidence of some horrible child molester, I wouldn’t shed a tear for the pedo but I would still be upset at how poorly the fire department is run. Same idea here.