Caddy supports the HTTP-01 and TLS-ALPN-01 challenges by default, you just need to expose 80/443 and it just works. But if you want to use the DNS-01 challenge you’d need to build it with a plugin of your DNS provider.

Traefik supports all 3 challenges equally ootb, with a wide range of DNS providers. But it is a bit harder to configure and doesn’t support being a web server.

I wanna reshare my experiences here. Essentially it doesn’t scale well with large rooms, and isn’t friendly with janky/underpowered equipment like XMPP. But with a lot of performance tuning it can go a long way.

For a room, the amount of servers you federate with is a more reliable metric than member count (so 5000 accounts on 2 servers would likely take less load than 500 accounts on 500 servers, as an example). There are some large public rooms that are very broken, and I advise banning them before users get to join

Search “selfhosting” on matrixrooms.info and sort by most members, you should find a few

The easy solution is to choose someone other than matrix.org, get everyone over there, and hope it works out in the long run

The technical answer is that if you own your domain name you can migrate from a managed solution to a selfhosted one with some caveats. If you can’t migrate the database, then some data will be lost (namely, unfederated rooms and local-only data) and your friends will likely need to do a few things (reset their passwords, and export/reimport their encryption keys). Unfortunately there are no database migrator between different server software right now

We are (like everyone) on matrix.org now but realize we need to move eventually.

Consider moving to another open registration server too. Find one that supports Element Call

do I need to pay for a domain still?

If you’re gonna selfhost, you should purchase a domain for proper federation with the wider network. IP-only servers are possible, but they are generally banned in most rooms due to antispam. Same with dynamic DNS domains

Unless it really is easy enough to do it on a synology nas for text/voice/screen share…

You’ll need to integrate a Matrix homeserver (I recommend Continuwuity.org, much lighter than Synapse) and Livekit (the software that handle Element Calls). It’s not particularly easy so maybe consider managed hosting beforehand, too

You can try Snikket.org, which is basically Prosody but easier. But you can’t selfhost “on each person’s own computers” as you said because you’d still need a publicly exposable IP addresses and high uptime. Maybe you could try registering on an XMPP or Matrix instance you like and migrate your community over there first

Question for others: is Prosody’s (and XMPP’s) group calls really good? I’m under the impression that Matrix (with Element Call) is currently better due to the SFU architecture, but I’d be happy to be proven otherwise. I’m interested to hear required specs, how large the calls can be, and how much strain it puts on the TURN server and clients especially when it comes to multiparty streaming

AFAIK the Movim people are working on SFU calls too, but not soon